Brian Alvey: Verizon humor

I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. I like to make jokes. I like other peoples' jokes. I just don't get Verizon's peculiar sense of humor.

I ordered FiOS in May. I got an installation date of June 11. On June 11, Verizon Guy #1 came to my house and said:

I am here to install your FiOS. Did someone from Verizon bring the fiber line up from the street to your house yet?

Of course not.

The next day, Verizon Guy #2 came to my door to bring the fiber line up from the street and said:

Did the guy who came here yesterday leave all the equipment I need so I can bring the line up from the street?

Of course not.

Every week since then I've called Verizon to get my FiOS order back on track. Last week they identified me as a person who "wants to reschedule his installation" and said the best they could do was mid-July. I explained that I didn't want to reschedule at all. I wanted them to come out on June 11 and give me FiOS. Finally someone figured out what was going on and -- after giving me grief for ordering my service online instead of over the phone -- said they would get someone out this week.

Just now Verizon Guy #3 showed up at my door and said:

I am here to install your FiOS. Did someone from Verizon bring the fiber line up from the street to your house yet?

I don't get it.

Comments (5)

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Dorie 47 days ago

And it's not even Ground Hog Day! Way to go, Bill Murray.
Todd 47 days ago

Having worked for the company when it was Bell Atlantic, I see that they still "crack the same jokes".
And they're still not funny. I'm still waiting for FiOS be available here.
Here's another funny joke:
A friend of mine ordered Fios through a customer service rep. She was told that she qualified but she needed to change her phone service from copper to fiber and change her package in order to qualify. The end result? When the installer came to the house, my friend was told that FiOS wasn't in the area and he was there just to install DSL.
She has Optimum Online now.
Jason Preston 39 days ago

I have to admit, from the outside Verizon's sense of humor is pretty good ;)
Hope things get fixed up soon.
Anonymous 17 days ago

man im glad someone finally gets it verizon did the same thing to me and you just hit the nail on the head with that story also i love the steve wilkos show cause it is freakin sweet one of my friends went on there cause he had a problem reading the bible to much and steve set him straight now he doesnt even go to church with me and the dave matthews band is amazing well thanks for every thing
Dave 15 days ago

Get used to it! I've had FIOS since spring of '07, and they apply the Keystone Cops approach you're describing to everything they do. It's been one nightmare after another - truly mind-boggling how many different things they've screwed up and how many times they screw up their attempts to fix things.

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