Brian Alvey: Cyber Monday

I had never heard the phrase Cyber Monday before this Thanksgiving, but apparently it has been around for a few years. Following the in-store insanity of Black Friday, Cyber Monday is when everyone goes back to work and goes hunting for online shopping deals.

On the radio this morning they said that today is Cyber Monday and warned that "your boss had better not catch you on the computer today," which is silly. I'd be angry if everyone I worked with wasn't on their computers today.

They said another thing that bugged me way more though. You know how they run out of synonyms for the word "beat" when describing sports results? The Phillies beat the Mets. The Yankees defeated the Rays. The Celtics bested the Lakers. Well, they used the one that annoys me the most: the Panthers outskated the Rangers four to nothing. This isn't the Olympics. They don't give points for skating! Outshot, out-hustled, outplayed, outscored, outlasted. I'd be thrilled if they said the Rangers outsucked the Panthers zero to four -- just not outskated.

In case you're wondering, I'd be just as annoyed to hear a basketball team outdribbled their opponent or a baseball team outscratched and outspit their division rivals. Actually, I'd giggle at the scratching and spitting, but I think you now know how I feel about outskated.

UPDATE: C.K. gives me a little playful grief in his own Cyber Monday post for not hating the term "cyber" as much as I hate outskated. Maybe it's because Jason and I did the CyberSurfer magazine years ago and I never really got sick of the word cyber like the rest of the world did.

Comments (5)

Add a Comment Inappropriate or promotional comments may be removed.

Judith Meskill 476 days ago

or, how about, the nyt outprinted the wash post this morning ... /smile
jason 474 days ago

nice link to cybersurfer!
Anonymous 473 days ago

On sports shows up here, they would say the Panthers blanked the Rangers - cuz the Rangers scored zero. But I always think that blanked means bleeped and wonder what dirty thing they did to the other team.
-Jennifer
Dorie 463 days ago

or maybe there really was a blank space in the copy because the sportswriter forgot he was leaving a spacer until he could find another word for *beat*.
Brian Alvey 472 days ago

That's hilarious. The blanking Lakers blanked the blanking Knicks.

Add a Comment

Inappropriate or promotional comments may be removed. To create a clickable link, simply type the URL (including http://) and we will make a link for you. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br> tags, but if you're into that kind of thing, you can use any of the following tags: b, i, strong, em, a (href only), p and br.

Click one of the three commenter types below. Member comments are added immediately once you confirm your email address. Anonymous comments are moderated by our editorial staff.